Ode to My Munchkin's Hair
by ryf
Summary: Seto's recollection of why you shouldn't give either of his boyfriends, Yami or Yugi, a hairdryer.


Disclaimerness: I do not own Yu-gi-oh, the characters therein, Seto's shower, a hairdryer, strawberries, whipped cream, or a purple monkey named Fufu. Er… yeah.

A.N. Have you ever read a fic where the author says it's just a bit of randomness? Those words can't even begin to describe this thing that has sprung forth from my head. A warning, this is completely and utterly OOC. It could make for a fun read if that doesn't bug you too much, though. This little one-shoty ficlet came about after returning from my Tae-kwon-do class VERY hyped up. The plot bunnies then attacked. So, without further adieu, I give you…..

Oh! Oh wait! Further adieu! This story contains well, a bit more than hints at yaoiness. (YES! Go yaoi!!!) There are also "allusions" to sexual activity. Now, I give you…..

**Ode to My Munchkin's Hair**

Some people think it's fake. Their hair, I mean. As though they could buy that much hair gel. Sure, they're dating the C.E.O. of a major corporation, but come on. I, Seto Kaiba, know differently. Those spiky locks I so adore are purely natural. Ah, my little munchkins. And I mean that in the best possible way. I must remember to hide this from them, those tri-colored hair gods. I'm not sleeping on the couch again and leaving all the fun to them. Oh, but it is fun. But I must not be sidetracked. Perhaps that can be addressed another time. As I was saying, the gravity-defying hair of my two kittens is most astounding and the source of much gaiety. What I have to tell you must not fall into the wrong hands. In fact, I only say it here because I could not keep this hilarity to myself any longer. Never, and I mean never, give Yami or Yugi a hair dryer. Why, you ask? This is what happened….

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I woke up smiling. This smile quickly changed to coughing and spluttering. Yugi had his head nestled cutely into my chest, which unfortunately led to his hair being lodged firmly up my nose. "Good morning to you, too," a voice said from behind me. This was followed by a small noise that could only be described as the results of mating between a grunt and a moan, deriving from the being which chose to place its hair in such an inappropriate place. I pried myself from Yugi's grasp, poking his nose in response to the resulting pout. I sat up and stretched, hugging my loves to my chest. I barely caught the impish glint in Yami's eyes in time, as his head started to inch downwards. 

            "Oh, no you don't. If you start that again, we'll never get out of here. Speaking of which, we've got a little mess here." I let my gaze wander over the stained, mussed, and strawberry strewn bed.

            "Well, it's not my turn to clean up." Yugi said bluntly. I looked pointedly at Yami.

            "What?!" He exclaimed. "You want me to do it? It was your idea," he said, pointing an accusing finger at me.

            "I didn't hear either of you complaining." I said smugly, a smirk playing about my lips. In response, the 3,000 year old pharaoh stuck his tongue out at me. Yugi giggled.

            "Don't stick your tongue out unless you're going to use it."

            I sighed. "What am I going to do with you two?"

            "I can think of a few things," replied Yami, snaking his hands around my waist.

            "And we're right back where we started!" I exclaimed exasperatedly. "Come on. Up you go my little ones." Yami and Yugi's eyes glazed over, and I stood waiting expectantly. Yami snorted at something Yugi had "said." I then watched with amusement as the "lighter" (I use the term loosely) of the two climbed up onto Yami's shoulders. They stood there in front of me, all drawn up, if a little wobbly. Yugi looked me straight in the eye and said,

            "Who are you calling little?" I burst out laughing. 

            "Maybe we can just leave the bed to the maid. Screw privacy." Yami said, helping Yugi down. I poked him in the ribs.

            "You're just saying that 'cause it's your turn, aren't you?" I asked. He smirked.

            "Maybe."

            "Speaking of cleaning up," Yugi piped up, "we should think about that ourselves. Wanna take a shower?" Yami and I looked at each other. Without saying a word, I threw him over my shoulder and we took off running to the nearest shower. The door slammed shut behind me. I shivered in anticipation as two sets of adept hands turned on the taps. The warm water pounded down on us as three bodies intertwined in a sensual dance that was oh-so well rehearsed…… well, let's just say that wasn't a boring shower. We stepped out together as water, soap, and something that was decidedly else washed down the drain. I looked out at the two dripping wet beings in very close proximity through half-lidded eyes. I suppressed a giggle at seeing how, even when sopping wet, their hair stuck up at all sorts of angles. It was a big, wild mess. 

            "Your hair. It's …." I broke off, at a loss for words. Yugi looked up from where he had been drawing a heart with some familiar initials on the steamy mirror. A look of excitement announced itself on his face.

            "Why don't we try something different? You have a hairdryer, don't you Seto? Well, why don't we give it a go for once?"

            "You know, I have an extremely funny comment on that," purred Yami, "it just doesn't want to make its way from my brain to my tongue. As to the hairdryer, what the heck, sure." Yami is always lazy after showers like that, but really, who can blame him? So commenced the hairdryer venture which was doomed from the start. After toweling myself off, I handed them each a hair dryer, procured from the cabinet. 

            "On your marks, get set, go!" I said with a chuckle. The result was beyond words. As the noisy machines rumbled to a stop, I burst out in guffaws. Let me tell you, Seto Kaiba does not usually guffaw. Standing before me were Yami and Yugi with giant puff balls for hair. I can not even begin to describe it. It was a bit reminiscent of what it would look like if two tri colored kuribos had decided that Yami and Yugi's heads were the perfect thing to have for dinner. We'll just call it a bad hair day. 

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So there you have it. This is why my lovers' silken hair should not get within fifty feet of a hair dryer. They turn into chia pets. Now, I must retire. I have a couple of people with a tub of whipped cream waiting for me.

A.N. There you go, that's all she wrote. Literally. I would absolutely love it if you reviewed. But you probably already knew that. It may be annoying to do, but sadly enough, it would probably be the highlight of my week. As to flames… what the heck. Go ahead, if you don't like it, tell me. Just tell me why. It's better than nothing. If the end seemed to be a little funky to you, I agree. By the time I got to the point of the story, the plot bunnies, evil buggers, were starting to hop away. I even tried enticing them with carrots. Oh well. Ciao,

-Moi


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